Monday, 17 August 2009
The Break Up Rules
We've all been there. The Break Up seems to have more articles written about it than most other subjects to do on affairs of the heart. Every magazine, blog, tv-show and pop song would have you think that there's a prescribed process to achieve the inevitable state of being 'over' someone. If you get the right hair cut, the right 'break up' outfit, even the right dvds and ice cream to cry over (and into), you'll be able to 'get over' your ex.
The topic has been discussed endlessly at the FAD office (by which we mean our kitchen table or the nearest bar) and most post-break up nights where there is alcohol involved seem to end with one or all of the FADitors crying into their wine glasses. And we've come up with the following tips that have helped us, and we hope might help you.
1. Crying your eyes out for as long as you want is fine and infact positively encouraged. This is one time you can avoid the 'drama queen' label whilst wailing about how unfair life is and how the vodka bottle is the new love of your life.
2. Whilst the snicker ice cream binge brings us all great joy on the kitchen floor at 3am, it will make us feel like fat, spotty idiots (and induce another round of self loathing along the lines of 'well of course s/he dumped me; look at me!')
3. However tempting it is to call up The Ex and cry, scream and shout, in the long run its all about having a little bit of self respect and waiting till you're feeling more stable (i.e. Not crying at every dog rescue advert on the tv and not obsessively stalking anyone connected to The Break Up on facebook because you will inevitably end up more miserable than when you started. Trust us on this one. We speak from tragic experience.)
4. Whilst we're on the subject of facebook and twitter, do try to avoid those self-pitying updates and statuses; you know the ones we're talking about, the 'my life is over now you've left me' and 'I don't know what to do anymore or what the point in my life is, without you by my side.' However much you may be feeling it, for your sanity (and to stop you becoming a laughing stock to everybody around you) keep it to yourself.
5. If you do get into the position where you bump into your very recent ex be very calm, very gracious and most importantly, not in the least bitter. This rule applies regardless if they've caught you in your trackie's leaving Tesco's with a bag full of malteasers and they're with their newest squeeze who is enivtably a thinner, taller, more beautiful version of you (in your eyes) or if you're in a club feeling fantastic and having a great night. Just smile, nod, say a few words and then move on.
All of this and believing that if something is meant to be, it'll be, that good things sometimes end and most importantly not to force anything, do it in your own time and you might just surprise yourself at how quickly you're feeling better.